Monday, November 22, 2010

Shakin in my boots

This morning I listened to Sweet Disposition on the way to work and it reminded me of Mike. And I felt sad for a minute. Then I started writing a few songs in my head.
Then I got to work all sweaty and nasty.
Callers started calling.
I got on Twitter and Gmail and Blackboard.
I placed a call to England which was exciting!

Then Ryan called...
I've never gotten him before and I didn't even realize it was him until I was transferring his call.
And now my heart is racing and I'm afraid every call will be from him.
I always forget that he's still around...

I just can't wait to escape to Blanding. Ha.

I want to listen to A Camp now.
Or Tilly and the Wall.
But I'm at work and can't access anything with sound.

Friday, November 5, 2010

The way I should be is sane

After sucessfully wasting the first...three hours at work navigating people's blogs,
MAYBE I will get started on this news analysis.
This paper that we were supposed to be working on all semester. That is due Tuesday.
I don't even know what to write. I haven't even begun to think about an outline...oye.

People just keep calling! And I'm sitting at the desk with the suckiest phone. And I'm wearing this giant brown flannel shirt. I do love when old people/british/australian people call in though. And funny people and really nice ones. This really is the best job. Hopefully stupid people that think the internet is the answer to everything won't ruin it for me. Derek is always like "Your job is dumb because people can look anything up online and it's so much easier BLAH BLAH BLAH." He's just not a phone person. WHATEVS. "BYU operator...Yes one moment...that number is...and I'll connect!...You're welcome." That's just as easy as the internet. And more personable. Plus. Sometimes BYU's website is just a pain. And I relieve that pain. I am human Tylenol.

In other news. I've been. SOoooo bipolar lately. I never know how I'll be feeling next. Like yesterday. I was so grumpy and didn't want to deal with anyone and I was stressing trying to work on my paper and I fell asleep. I woke up to Derek by my side calling me "hey sleepyhead" and what not...and I was SO happy to see him. I was so confused because the natural reaction should have been annoyance and violence, but it was the best ever. We went to his house and ate the best steak I have ever tasted in my entire life. Then when I got home I felt sad again...I really just...(AHH THAT BRITISH GUY JUST CALLED AGAIN YES)
I just want things to be consistent.
I can't figure anything outttt. It's okay though. Because I'm trying. And...I know...that eventually...Things will make sense in my life. At least more than they do now.
Except what am I going to do when my roommate goes to Jerusalem next semester! :(
(Aaaaaaand british guy calls yet AGAIN. I love him.)

I want:
To go to the international cinema when it's dark and cold outside
A car
My old roommates back
Cookie decorating parites
To stop having dreams about getting engaged/married
More friends besides Derek
A motorized scooter
etc....

"The way I should be is happy
I should be singing out your name
The way I should be is smiling
The way I should be is sane"

Rapunzel fo dayz

The problem with you is,
you're the wrong kind of prince.

You climbed my tower and made it to the very top.
You came in through the window.
You have my attention.

But I never let my hair down for you.
Don't you see that?