Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My heritage

Want to see the cutest picture of my parents ever?

It's a little bit small because I got it from my mom's facebook. Which, I must say, is hilarious in and of itself. My mom needs to start blogging so the rest of you can see picture captions that say things like "I am a bunny with cheetah gloves" or "Andrea sitting? In the snow? I don't think, so." Yes. The comma is placed after "think."

Anyway, they took this picture of themselves. Because my mom, as previously mentioned, is hilarious, and stages photoshoots of herself and my dad and the cat all the time. Here's one with the cat.

"Addy has lazer eyes."

Am I a lucky kid or what!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


I have a confession to make. I don't believe in gluten intolerance.
Let me rephrase.
I was born to a Nurse Mom. Which means that instead of lavish dance competitions my childhood was filled with the excitement of little to no sympathy for ailments. Barfing your Froot Loops? Go to school. Snot rockets for days? Keep your chin up! Chicken pox? FINALLY! Etc.

I am consequently under the (probably false) assumption that my mom knows more about health issues than your mom, and so when she tells me that so and so is probably just getting tested for fibromyalgia because they want attention...I tend to believe her.

Which leads me to gluten. Call me crazy, but I feel like gluten allergies are SO IN right now. It seems like it's "the thing" lately to be allergic to anything that tastes normal! I don't know if I buy it. Yes, I understand the 50 year old man who humbly cannot take the sacrament on Sunday because he is gluten intolerant, or sure, the skin and bone skinny girl from my freshman ward who made potato pancakes regularly...
But I don't understand how so many people now are just deciding that they can't eat wheat products these days!

It got me to thinking about my own eating habits. I wonder if there's any way I could justify claiming that I have a food allergy. For example. Every time I go to Cafe Rio I get the runs. Every single time. Does this mean I'm allergic to Cafe Rio? Maybe. Am I going to start telling everyone I know that I can't eat there because I'm intolerant? NO. HE-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS NO.

I'm sorry if you really do have this disease and you've struggled with it for years...but if one day you thought to yourself "Hm. I get diarrhea too often" and diagnosed yourself with a gluten intolerance/allergy/whatever...?
I have no sympathy for you. Maybe you just need to eat more vegetables and fruit and exercise or something!

I don't know. I'm no doctor. Just know that my mom is a nurse. So to you attention seekers out there I say, GO TO SCHOOL YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A FEVER, EMILY.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The 2 weeks from Hell sent to destroy me

Remember in October or something when it was time to register for winter semester and I had no idea what to take so I only added 2 classes? Well. Turns out that's sort of the worst thing that could've happened to me.
These past two weeks--the first 2 weeks of school--have resulted in a frenzy. This picture probably best expresses how I've been feeling:

I've been in a constant state of uneasiness, worry, and panic. I've been adding and dropping classes like crazy. I don't know whether or not to be a full time student because I don't have any classes to take. If I'm not full time, what am I doing with my life? I've been trying to finish up the process of applying to the advertising program this whole week. I can't even focus on school. I never sleep...

I feel like this happens to me to some extent at the beginning of every semester--I scramble and I freak out and then things turn out fine. But this time there has been more scrambling than ever before. Which thus leads to more freaking out...

I know these are major first-world problems, and I know everything is going to work out...I just can't breathe right now. And my hair is in a top-knot. I've never done that before! What's happening to me.
This picture best expresses me trying to feel better by taking sad pictures of myself:

(This photo will be on the back of my first novel: "Lady in the Water Balloon.")

I mostly blogged this morning because I started to feel like I was tweeting too much again. Another issue in my life. I HAVE IT SO HARD U GUYS.

No. But really. I'm fine. I'm not dying. My life is not ending. I just have to pretend I know what I'm doing for a few more days, and it'll all be over! And I had a really nice dream about cats last night so. Everything is fine.

Good thing I have Noah and the Whale stuck in my head! L-I-F-E-G-O-E-S-O-N

Hi my name is Emily and I have an irrational fear of starvation.

I don't know what it is, but when I'm planning out my day and looking at my schedule, if it looks like I'll be busy most of the day I start to get this fear that I will starve to death.
For example:
Today I work 6-10 AM, which, can we just talk about for a second? That's murder. It took me 7 minutes to even realize my alarm was going off this morning because I was waking up from a lovely 5 hour nap.
Then I have zumba at 10 AM. Uh. Okay. I'm gonna go straight from zombie work mode to aerobic wiz kid? I don't think so. Then I have an hour break, during which time I'll need to shower thanks to the aforementioned punch-dancing class.
Then it's BACK TO WORK for 3 hours, then straight to class from 3-5.

When I see that schedule all I can think is how am I going to eat?!?
Last night I packed a bagel with cream cheese and a yogurt and a piece of banana bread, but in the grand tradition of packed lunches, I of course forgot it at home this morning.

So. Farewell my friends. Remember that this day, the 10th of January, Emily breathed her last breath because she couldn't find time to eat like some kind of over-worked naked mole-rat.