Friday, December 9, 2011

Get behind me, Santa!

So instead of studying for finals right now I am creating a finals schedule at work. And by that I mean I'm coloring with crayons...

Which is just as good if not BETTER than studying.
My week really won't be too bad. I'm taking 4 tests and then going home to Seattle! I'm flying in an airplane next Saturday morning all by myself. Have I mentioned this? None of my siblings are coming to Christmas...It will just be me and my parents for 12 days.

Which will be fun. I think...
My mother has promised Turkey dinners, doctor's appointments, arts and crafts, and an all around great time!
I'm at least excited about seeing my Seattle friends. AKA Me and Kiersten will be hitting up Dick's and thrift stores and partying like it's 1999. WATCH OUT NORTHWEST.

Other than that I will just be relieved to have a break from school. SCHOOL....I still don't know what I'm doing next semester. Every time I think about it I want to dig a giant hole and hide in it until I'm married. Wait. I mean.

Speaking of Christmas, this year we decided to draw names for gifts. So hypothetically, I'm only supposed to be getting up to $50 worth of a present from my dad and that's it. The only things I asked for this year were Pajama Jeans and Justin Bieber's perfume...So we'll see if I get either/both/none of those things. My dad might just buy me a season of Star Trek, bless his soul.
Otherwise, I'm giving to my sister, she's giving to...Doug? Doug's giving to...Sarah? I honestly couldn't tell you. Christmas 2011 is cray cray. Everyone is just partying with their spouses while I bop around by my lonesome.

If I happen to get some extra Christmas cash though I'm thinking I'll finally buy a digital SLR. Any recommendations? I want to be able to film with it. And take awesome photos to put on the internet. Because that's what people do right? I also will finally be able to start my glamour shots business so that's good.

Happy Christmas Y'all! Don't forget to listen to Sufjan!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The internet is for frenz

I'm starting to realize that some friends are just for the internet. They're not for real life.
It's like that episode of the suite life of zack and cody that I accidentally watched recently. These two nerds that would always chat on their Sims type game tried to start dating IRL, but they just felt awkward the whole time. So by the end of the episode they were sitting across the table from each other with their laptops out, chatting to each others avatars instead...

And I could relate.
Seriously, I don't know what it is, but there are people that I am THICK AS THIEVES with on the internet, or texting, or chatting, or whathaveyou, but when it comes to hanging out with them in person everything is COMPLETELY different.

Lately I just feel like a loser.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Just read my very first blog post on Word Vomit. Part of it went something like this:

"I'm glad I started a blog. It's a lot different than myspace."

And then I laughed until I fell on the floor and died.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Deleted scenes/tweets! 2

I just got real depressed all the sudden.
In other news, here are some more rejected tweets:

1. It's happening. I'm craving 4th meal. I'm a fat American.
2. Goal for next friday night is to not be laying in my bed alone when 8pm rolls around.
3. Nothing more depressing than looking through past transactions and realizing how much fast food I eat. Except like maybe the depression.
4. Sometimes I type better when I just lean back and close my eyes and fddddddddddddd SHOOT
5. Remember on Holes when they call graham crackers cookies?!? What a bunch of stupid juvenile delinquents! Glad they all die at the end.
6. Just found out my ex had a ring picked out for me before we broke up! (A lie I imagine sometimes to feel better about my life)
7. I thought listening to the postal service would help me study. Boy was I wrong. Just kept wondering if the same song was playing over and over.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Rejected Tweets

1. Lady Dolphins. Get you some rape whistles.
2. Never sure how to respond when someone texts you "I want you bad." Is "Oh me oh my!" good?
3. I don't really understand "hit it and quit it," fellas. Wouldn't you want to hit it, and then keep hitting it?
4. Girl at work. Your voice sounds DISGUSTING. Stop. Answering. Calls.
6. Meow meow meow meow meow meow I'M A CAT!


What day is it?


This month has literally flown by. It's as if October sprouted the wings of an eagle and soared amongst the...whatever.
I just can't believe it's almost NOVEMBER.

In the past month I:
  • Became really good friends with my roommie.
  • Met more twitter friends.
  • Declared an English minor
  • Saw the Foo Fighters in concert?
  • Exploded coffee creamer into my dry-clean only coat pocket
  • Ate many $5 footlongs

  • Ate a BUTT-TON of candy corn...
  • Became single again
So I mean. Basically my life is right on track...?
Le Sigh...

A bunch of my friends (GIRLS) also announced that they are going on missions this month. It's freaking me out. It's making me feel like a grown up or something awful. I'm sure I'll have a similar breakdown when my first good friend gets married. Can't even imagine what that will be like. #foreveralone

I dunno. I hate making decisions and being responsible. I wish I had a life coach to tell me. Okay, major in this, take these classes, graduate here, go on a mission/don't, get married to this dude, live here...yeah! You're doing great!

But instead it's just me. Boppin' around. Doesn't know. Which way is up. (name that movie)

In other news, I'm pretty sure I tweet wayyy too much. I lose followers pretty much every day...and now that I don't have one person to text constantly I'm pretty sure my urges to tweet are only going to increase.
So I've started saving tweet drafts to my phone and I think I'll put them up here on the blog. Have to get my hilarious thoughts out into the world wide web somehow amirite?! LOL.
In conclusion, I think Ferris Beuller said it best:

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Friday, September 30, 2011

3 cool things and 1 awkward moment

1. I had a dream about cats last night. More specifically, MY cat, Nacho. In my dream she was still alive because I had figured out how to nurse her back to health. (She just needed someone to force-feed her!) And she could also shape shift into a human if she needed a non-cat disguise. The human usually had cerebral-palsy. She's such a clever cat. :)

(Here's a picture of the two of us in one of my senior pictures. Can't make that kind of thing up)

2. I got re-tweeted by the Daily Universe. Did you know? My school's newspaper's twitter noticed something hilarious I said! (Getting re-tweeted does more for my self esteem that it should)

3. Turns out almost everyone in gleeYU loves Justin Bieber. LOVES HIM! Even the founder of the club, Travis. So...we may or may not be singing Never say Never at BYU's got talent in a few weeks. And I have a couple solos.

4. The other day I saw someone on campus. Someone that I have been hoping I would run into. I'm always like, where this person at? It would be so fun to see them at school! I don't want to disclose too many details...but let's just say...I saw this person, and for some reason I immediately, literally shrank behind a wall to avoid interacting with them. And the best part is that I'm not sure if this person saw me before I hid from them.'s possible that I've ruined our friendship forever.
WHY does that happen?! Why do we see people that we know and avoid talking to them? I want a sociological psychology scientific explanation please.
Are we afraid that they won't be excited to see us? Do we feel too busy? Is it just that sometimes you feel introverted and sometimes you don't?
Either way I feel like an idiot.

Also. I just told a girl at work that I loved her "sexy cold voice." It was by far the creepiest thing I have ever said and I don't know what possessed me to say it. Word Vomit.

(Okay I guess there are really 2 awkward moments in this post)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Her head was on fire

Time to be introspective.
Remember how, on my blog, I have said several times that I want to be an English teacher who one day goes on to write novels? Or just one good novel?

Why don't I just do that...?

In 8th grade when I read To Kill A Mockingbird I found it fascinating and wanted to read more by Harper Lee. But as I searched and searched I discovered that was the only thing she had ever written. I was so disappointed, but all the more intrigued. Lee was a teacher, who wrote an American masterpiece, and then retired...When I found that out about her, my little 13 year old self thought, "I'd like to live that same life."

7 years later I am a junior in college pursuing an advertising major...

Why? Is it that my dreamz have changed? Was that just something I wanted as a middle schooler? And if not, why am I so afraid to pursue that path...
Is it because my sister and my friends and a million people I know are english teachers? And I only know maybe a handful of advertising people? I know the advertising major will be quicker and I get the impression it will be "easy" compared to many other that another reason why I'm holding back?

I do enjoy the classes I'm taking right now. Mass communications, Media writing, and literary interpretations...So I'm justifying being an advertising major with an english minor.
Let's say this for a plan: Next semester I will get to turn in my advertising video application. Until I find out if I'm in the program or not, I'll just be taking classes for my minor. So next semester if I'm just so in love with English that I can't stand it...Maybe I'll say JUST KIDDING! to advertising...
I'm telling you. This semester is the deciding point! And also next semester is the deciding point also!....
I'm never going to graduate.

When I see myself in 10 years I see a mother and a wife. Living in a nice house somewhere, with an office just for me, to write. I see music and babies and being an internet sensation. I mean international sensation. With a closet full of rhinestone dresses. Well really I just see those first couple of things and then my imagination starts to go wild...

But I will say, I do like Usher.

Monday, September 26, 2011


Right now.
I am at work.
And it is so BUSY.

Let's rewind to how my day began.
This morning I went to my 8am class. I was 15 minutes late (so I slept in like 40 minutes longer than I normally do). But I was still so tired for the whole lecture. I absorbed about 5 minutes of information, I would say. Then I had to come straight to work.

(I typed in "BYU Operator" into google images and found this. I guess it's an accurate depiction of my everyday work environment...)

Anyway I came to work thinking, like I always do, that I'm going to get copious amounts of homework done and be super productive in between taking calls! And inevitably...this happened:

You guys. I HAVE A PROBLEM...
My social media/internet obsession has reached an unacceptable level. I mean I still go outside and breathe fresh air and speak to humans in person...But homework? FORGET ABOUT IT. Sleep? MAYBE LATER LOLZ.

It's bad.

And I know my last post was about twitter and all the positive things about it...but I don't care. I am a walking contradiction. Like a starburst. That could walk.

So now I've been at work for about an hour and a half and my fatigue mixed with internet mixed with not doing my homework is sending me into a panic attack/rage and all I want to do is cry and eat donuts and drink chocolate milk. AND I'VE BEEN WRITING THIS ENTIRE POST WHILE TAKING CALLS WHICH HAS ONLY INCREASED MY ANXIETY LEVELS. I am not smart. I am not responsible. I DON'T HAVE ANY MAKEUP ON AND IT IS 10:30AM.

The good news is, this cat walked into my apartment again last night. She's definitely now officially MY CAT. She'll still live outside, but I know where her loyalties lie. And I think her name is going to be Starvin' Marvin. Because I fed her like 7 pieces of lunch meat and an entire string cheese...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Life and twitter

So lately I've been neglecting my blog. Of all my social media habits, blogging has to be the weakest one. There's a shirt from threadless that says "I'm not a blogger, I just tweet A LOT" and sometimes I feel like that's my life. Even though it's supposed to be ironic or whathaveyou.

But anyway, let's have an update. Let's's been almost exactly one month. And a freaking lot can happen in a month as it turns out!
To start, I moved into my new apartment. I moved in with 3 completely random strangers. (I'M BRAVE) They're all pretty chill. Two of them knew each other before and the other is just fun and super involved with BYU. My only complaint is that all of them seem to have the same terrible taste in music... (sorry if any of you see this post...) but you know what I mean. The twangiest country imaginable mixed with any overplayed song from the early 2000s that you would normally skip on the radio...ha. But...whatever.

Another update on my life is that I NEVER SLEEP ANYMORE. I know that a lot of people must have similar schedules to mine and that I'm probably being dramatic, but it's killer. I have an 8 am class on Monday/Wednesday, and 9:30 am Tuesday/Thursday. Then on the weekends I get scheduled to work BUTTHOLE early (woke up at 630 currently at work unwashed and un-makeup'd...) and I have 9am church. SO. I mean. Can you see my frustration. I forget what it feels like to sleep in. AM I NOT TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SORT OF LIFESTYLE?!? College kids are supposed to be able to live it up! Guess not :/

Besides new roommates, and new sleep schedule, I've also encountered some pretty awesome people via twitter lately...

I know. I know this might make me sound like a complete loser/sociopath, but I have made real friends through twitter! I personally don't see anything wrong with this fact. It's not like I am incapable of making friends in real life. It's just that twitter makes it easier because people who already like the same things as you/think you're funny can find you! So yeah.

Tyler is one of them. Turns out we are the exact same person, just different genders. It's the best. And then Anna, I guess I met her before, but she's hilarious. And so are her friends (Dave aka centaur cop). And there are several others. (@makinuvbetter, @bemorte, @thesupremerace...) Really. I like twitter. I like it a lot and I don't care what anyone says. HATER'S BACK OFF.

In other news, I saw a cat the other day!! life is good right now. Nevermind the fact that I have a paper due in a few hours that is but a mere a paragraph so far... (Every semester I make the pledge that I will be a more dedicated student...and every semester I do everything at the last minute or not at all...) But it's fine. :)

I hope all of you are finding successes in your life at the present time. If you're anything like me, stay away from those cafe rio salads and cupcakes! You're getting fat again!
Love you!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

That big blue "F" word.

Let's talk about FACEBOOK for a second.

I don't know if it's just summer and nothing is happening, or if Google+ is secretly taking over while I don't pay attention to it...but for whatever reason facebook has been of very little use to me lately! I get on it every other day and find only the most random, pointless, notifications. Like my friend from middle school's stepmom requesting me to join her in "the gardens of time." Or some kid that I met a couple times in Kentucky inviting me to a death metal concert. And so on. Even when I upload new pictures(what I thought was my main reason for having FB), the only responses I get are my mom "liking" every single one, or a couple comments from either really close friends or strangers.
Then there's the awkward facebook chatting that goes on with people you really don't want to talk to. Nobody likes that.
The only other thing I do on facebook is "stalk" and even that has lost its luster. Usually occasion arises when a conversation like this comes up: "Yeah I'm talking to this new guy" "Show me his pictures is he cute?!?" Or when I'm so incredibly bored that I find someone's status entertaining and look through their profile pictures.

You guys! Do you see what's going on here? Facebook is not the life-absorbing time-consuming death trap that it once was! I'm afraid to say it...but it's becoming more and more like the great myspace fade daily...Will the time come when facebook is no longer such a critical vice in the world of social media? Or just our culture in general? I think it's possible...

And yet, for now, I still can't seem to delete or even de-activate my account. I still feel like I need it--just in case.
But really. Tumblr and Twitter and pinterest and such provide me with much more entertainment and connections as of late.

I still really liked that social network movie though. And I had a dream last night about dating Jesse Eisenberg...


In summary: Facebook, I think let's change our relationship status from "BFFLZ" to "It's complicated." No hard feelings?

Friday, July 29, 2011

'Merica! Part Tew

Well friends, romans, countrymenz, it all ended today.
At 2:00AM I woke up and got ready for the big audition! They wanted us there by 5, so I thought I'd be safe and get there at 3:30. (Which turned out to be completely unnecessary...) After watching Meet the Robinsons on my Zune (in LOVE with that movie) I awkwardly asked the kid in front of me to take my picture.

Yeah. See that little pink light in the skyline? THAT'S JUST THE SUN RISING NBD.
We basically had nothing to do until about 7 so that was a fun few hours of doing nothing and making painful small talk!
Then the propaganda group shots began.

We were told to shout various phrases like "Give ME the golden ticket!" and "Welcome back to the Rocky Mountains!" The producer treated us like 8th graders basically...(shout out to Natalie Thomson!) It was all very demeaning.

Anywho. Then we found our seats in the stadium. I was lucky enough to be seated between a mom with a sun hat and a dude with a beard and a leather vest! Er.....
By the time we got in the sun was BLAZIN. Seriously. It was only 8 or 9 but I thought I was going to melt.

(Exhibit A)

After a couple more hours of waiting, they lined us all up for the slaughter. So to speak. 4 by 4 we marched up to one of the 11 different booths set up with various producers awaiting. I tried my best to be all smiles and full of personality. I made eye contact, I belted my song. I even threw in a few Christina Aguilera hand waves for style. But the lady in my booth didn't seem impressed at all. (She was wearing a bandeau and a ripped up tank top btw. Classy.) She told me and the girl next to me that we really needed to work on our vocals....And that was that! They cut our wristbands off and we walk-of-shame-walked our butts out of that blazin hawt stadium.

Yes. I'm telling you that I DID NOT MAKE IT. As convinced as I was that I could be the next American Idol, I didn't even pass the first round of auditions. But they're super weird about who they let through. So I wasn't even sad. I didn't cry or throw a fit. I just got Wendy's and was all, Whatever,

The experience was fun though. Should I ever decide to try again, I know what to do. Wear weird pants, act a fool, make up a crazy story about myself, and sing a Katy Perry song. Easy. Oh and also, don't show up a thousand hours early. Because you just don't need to. You just don't.

In conclusion, follow ur dreamz, reach for the starz, and watch out for THIS guy on TV!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

'Merica! Part 1

The saga of Emily trying out for American Idol all began today!
At exactly 3:30AM I woke up this morning/last night and got ready to head out to register at Invesco Field.

(Denver has no shortage of horse statues, I have come to learn.)

I arrived at the stadium around 5:30AM--after getting lost and turned around quite a bit-but-I-mean-it's-my-first-time-in-this-city-so-haters-back-off.
If you can believe it, I seemed to be the only person there flying solo. Everybody had somebody. Be it their androgynous aunt, chain-smoker boyfriend, doting daddy, or the occasional trio of hefty harmonizing sisters. So at first I felt a little awkward.

But as the cameras arrived and the lines moved I warmed up to my neighbors quickly enough. And the crazies began to emerge...

Turns out gimicks really do work. Anyone with an outfit or a hairstyle a teensie bit out of the ordinary was approached by the cameras. Like this dude. ^ And THIS DUDE:

He is 100% going to be on TV. They had him running around all over the place. Among the attention grabbers nearby there was also pink hair girl and the cowboy:

But! Don't worry! Although I was dressed as a normal sleepless human, I managed to weasel my way onto camera a bunch! At one point, this staff lady with a flip camera noticed my cheering and asked me a bunch of questions. And then ASKED ME TO SING FOR HER. So I sang a bit of Halo by Beyonce. It was the first thing that came to mind...I was pretty nervous, but I'll need to be even crazier come Friday if I wanna be fms!
I would say as of today there's probably a 10% chance I will be on TV. So GET PUMPED!

Overall, the day was a success. Despite waking up early, it turned out to be fairly painless. I only ended up standing in line for 2 or 3 hours! And I didn't even have to go to the bathroom once! Easy. When I got to the front they just gave me a paper wristband and some forms and told me to come back Friday at 5:00AM. Impressed? I thought so.

So keep a lookout for DAY 2 of the idol adventure! I will probably be standing around for many many more hours. Thinking about it makes me want to go to bed. At 8:30PM...Eeesh my sleep schedule is so messed now ha.
In conclusion, don'tcha wish yer idol wuz hawt lyke me?:

Saturday, July 23, 2011

If music be the food of love...

The other day I watched The Young Victoria with my roommate Haley.
She's an art history major so I kept asking her questions about what was going on during that era and whatnot. Fascinating stuff. Then during one part Prince Albert referenced Schubert's Swan Song (which became a motif for his character) and I totally knew what he was talking about! When it played I think Haley thought it was just part of the soundtrack--something written for the film--but I recognized it from my music 202 class! Totally Schubert.
Then I got to thinking about that class and how much I LOVED it. Seriously. I took so many notes. I hung on every word that my professor said--and not just because he had an awesome Australian accent.
You guys. I LOVE MUSIC.

Then today I went to the Harris Fine Arts Center on campus and it brought back even more memories of Music 202. And I just wanted to take that class again. Be a TA for it. Learn everything I possibly can about the history of music.

I'm singing in church tomorrow so I've been trying to warm up my voice every day. In all the choirs and voice lessons I've been in they emphasize singing with your throat open. That feeling you get right before you yawn. When I sing like that I feel silly, like an opera singer. So I was driving around today singing like that and I just started making up an opera. I rolled my r's and just sang in made up words that sounded Italian. It would have been absolutely hilarious for anyone to hear/see I'm sure. But the thing felt real! I had this vision of me writing a real opera...and I don't even like opera that much.
I. Don't even know.
(Lately the best place for me to sing really loud and as ridiculous as I want is alone in my car. Celebrity impressions, practicing for AI, opera name it. It's awesome...)

Basically these past few days have been super weird. And I just really don't think I want to major in advertising anymore. What? Yeah. I'm not really a junior in college...Never mind that I have 76 credits already...oof.
Whyyyyyyyyyy do majors even EXIST. WHYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Deepbreath. In conclusion, I leave for Denver to try out for American Idol in 3 days. Pray that I make it to the next round so I can become famous and never have to pick a major. lol? But really.
Love, Emily.

Monday, July 18, 2011

I have this problem.

So I just re-read some of my blog posts from my other blog. The one I started for my advertising class and then abandoned after the class was over. Everything on there was so much more interesting and well-written than this blog! And I think I know why. Because at the time, I had a purpose for writing, and a defined audience. I knew that the kids in my class would be reading what I wrote, so I was on my A-game! I wanted them to be amused. I wanted my teacher to pull examples from my blog to show the class. And thus my blogging was at its finest.
I want to write that way again!
So...what should I do?
Maybe I will start advertising my blog more on facebook and twitter. That way, I'll feel like more people might actually see what I write, and maybe I'll be more motivated to be clever and witty! Who knows.
I just want to write more. I want to be a writerrrrrr.

Any suggestions?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I didn't even like dreamgirls.

Did I mention that my mom sent me this giant poster of Jennifer Hudson in the mail?

(Excuse my camera-phone quality)

She said her Weight Watchers leader gave it to her for free because she was so amused by my imaginary ongoing conversations with J-Hud.
--For example, if I have a bad day and I find myself gorging on a burger, fries and a shake I might say "I'm sorry Jennifer! I've wronged you!" etc--

So now it hangs on my wall empowering me to lose weight and become the next American Idol. The usual. You know.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Maybe you've heard?

Since the beginning of time--or 2002--people have been telling me to try out for American Idol. For the first 5 or so years I wasn't even old enough to audition. I would sit and watch and fantasize about taking the stage and blowing the judges away. As I got older I started to think trying out would be "uncool." This attitude mostly stemmed from the anger I felt every time a winner was picked that I didn't agree with(cue Ruben, Fantasia, Taylor Hicks, David Cook...almost every season...). Then every time I did want to try out, the auditions were far away or somehow things just didn't work out.

Well. Now here I am, 20 years old, going into my 3rd year of college. The original judges of the show are all but gone, and competing programs like "The Voice" and "America's got Talent" seem to be pushing AI off the radar...
But despite all of that I've decided that this is my year to shine.

So. On July 26th I will be boarding a plane to Denver, CO by myself to embark on a journey. It's a little bit ridiculous that I'm going alone, and a little bit ridiculous to think I'll make it past round 1...but I just have to do this. So that the next time someone says to me, "You should totally try out for American Idol!" I'll be able to say, "I totally did. In season 11."

(Also. It's no coincidence that Jennifer Hudson, former American Idol finalist, is now a spokesperson for Weight Watchers which I happen to be a lifetime member of...)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The one about my shower

Okay. Let me tell you about the past 5 hours of my life.

8:15AM I wake up with a call from my work telling me that I was supposed to be in at 8. Startled and befuddled I hastily put on a dress and a headband and run out the door.

8:30AM I finally arrive and proceed to feel disgusting and disheveled for the next 3 1/2 hours.

9:00AM Put on a little makeup to distract everyone from my bed-head

9:30AM - 12:00PM I become bombarded with calls and almost have a panic attack while simultaneously reading about 20 posts from busybeelauren's blog...I got sucked in okay?

12:00PM I come home to take a shower and regroup from my rude awakening this morning.

So there I was a'showering just minding my own business, when the water pressure suddenly dropped down to a dribble. (A drizzle?) I literally couldn't effectively bathe a hamster with the amount of water that was coming out of the faucet if that sheds any light on the issue.

Now, this isn't the first time I've encountered this problem. It has happened a few times since I've been living in my new apartment and I've discovered that it only occurs when someone else in the apartment is using hot water. (Seriously the only annoying thing about living here. You can't run the dishwasher, washing machine, run two showers at once...One hot water source at a time OR ELSE.) So anyway, I had just seen my roommate Christy leave and knew that my other roommate Haley was in class. That left my elusive Korean roommate "Jackie" as the only suspect. I figured she must have started her laundry or was doing dishes or something insane and I had to communicate to her somehow that she MUST STOP.

In my family growing up we had a fool-proof system for when someone needed something while they were in the shower. My mom came up with the idea that all you have to do is bang on the wall and there was a mutual understanding that someone would come see what was up. Maybe you realized you needed your new bottle of shampoo in the linen closet. Maybe there were no towels in the bathroom because you and your sister were in the middle of a towel war over who got the "big purple one." Whatever the problem, all it took was a good pounding and someone was bound to hear you and respond.

Desperate and freezing, I thought that this method might work in my current predicament. The water had shut down immediately after I had covered my entire body in soap so I couldn't just walk out all soapy and naked to investigate. Nope. So I tried the only thing I knew.

No response.
THUD THUD THUD. "Hello...Is somebody using the hot water...?"
Still nothing
More nothing. Just the mocking sound of a trickling stream of water.

Well, eventually the pressure came back. I don't know how, or why, but I know that the pounding method most definitely did not work. I think at one point during the episode I even heard someone somewhere say "Come in!"

Moral of the story: Learn an alert and response system for shower times in your home. Without them we are all lost.

Saturday, June 11, 2011


The Hunger Games.
I don't know how to feel right now.
Mostly I feel: excited for the fill the gaps and rushedness left by the author.
That sounds ridiculous....

I want to cry.
And become an English teacher who one day abandons her students to write fiction. Just like Harper Lee and Ally Condie.
The confession has come out.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

It's an exciting story!


So I've taken two years of classes at BYU including a spring and summer term inbetween them. I have a total of...76.5 credits under my belt. I've taken voice lessons, photography, wildlife biology, world dance, Journalism, Sign Language, creative writing, and a million other things. And the truth is, I still don't know what to do with my life.

I declared my major as "pre-comms" with a plan to apply to the advertising program after next fall...but I don't even really know if that's what I want. I just picked something. Because BYU told me to.
I dunno. Maybe I am destined to end up in an artsy ad agency in some big city...or a small boutique in a smaller city, writing copy, being creative, and trying to wear the latest fashions. Just, for some reason that occupation doesn't feel family friendly to me...Maybe it's just because I'm not close to anyone in that field so I don't know what to expect. I know about teachers and nurses and TV news producers. Maybe I should just start watching Mad Men...then I'll know what it's like in the ad the 1960s? Hm.

I feel pathetic and discouraged and ridiculous when everyone around me seems to have a plan...But at least I'm still in college. At least I haven't dropped out without a major...right?

I've come to accept that I'll be in college for a long time. Longer than people that had a major their senior year of high school, anyway. I'll probably be done by the time I'm like 22...23? Yeah? Probably.

In other news,
I just read a few blogs and the jist of them went like this: "My life is so great I really can't believe it but really do you know how awesome my life is? I have nothing to complain about! Things are perfect. I have a boyfriend/husband or am content with the fact that I don't! Wow I loveeeeeeeeeee life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And at first I was all, Ughhh. Just stop. I hate you all shut up shut upppp you're annoying.
BUT then I got to thinking...there are just people out there with that sort of personality. And it's fine. They're probably not trying to be obnoxious; they're just enthusiastic. So I should probably not hate them. But that doesn't mean I have to enjoy their blog, either...heh.

In other other news...My palms are orange. And so are my legs...I temporarily lost my patience with the sun. Lawl.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


You thought I was just going to post that lame post about boys and be lame?! Nope!
I'm going to post a positive fun time post now!

Because really? Life is GOOD. It's FINE.
Here are things I have to look forward to in the next few months:

1. Going to Seattle for a week.
2. Getting a car
3. Getting "tan" (see summer goals)
4. Shopping for a dress for my brother's wedding
5. Going to my brother's wedding which = California!

See? I ain't even mad.

My life as a teenage robot.

So...I'm at work. I'm working from 6 to 10 pm and I feel depressed and I literally have nothing to do because I'm not in school. So I'm going to make a blog post. (Wow aren't you excited to read on?!?!?)

1. Natalie's blog got removed today. From the internet. Forever. It's really sad :( But I thought to myself, if mine got deleted, would I even be upset? I guess there are random bits and pieces of my life on here from the past 3 or so years...but I've never really felt my blog was that important. I feel like A) no one reads it B) I write about nothing C) Most of it is angsty non-specific whining about boys.
It would be shocking and weird if it got deleted, but I might just shrug my shoulders and start a new blog and decide to make it so much better than my old one.

2. So I'm living in Provo for the summer and just working. No school. Like I said before. Which gives me oodles of free time. I've been spending a lot of this free time with my friend...Bojangles* *names have been changed.
He's really funny and great and we've been hanging out a TON.

Now...there's this thing called a universal rule of the UNIVERSE where one single heterosexual girl and one single heterosexual guy cannot just spend all of their time together and be friends and end of story. Nope. It doesn't work like that. Eventually there is a breaking point where the two either start smooching, or decide to spend less time together in hopes of finding someone else to smooch. (Seriously. This is like indisputable science. DNA, molecules, brain stems. REAL LIFE STUFF.)
Well, that breaking point happened to me today.

I knew it was coming. I could feel it in the water. I'm no dummy! But it all went a little differently than I had expected.
I was at work and he texted me saying he "wanted to talk to me" on my break. So I got home and after I ate and we watched a little TV, he went on to awkwardly explain that he's been meaning to tell me that if guys are asking me out, I shouldn't feel like I need to turn them down...

"I kind of want to go on dates with other people too so...I hope you're going on dates. But you are one of my best friends and I love spending time with you!" blah blah blah....Translation: I don't want to date you so don't get any ideas.

And the thing is. He's skinny, and lactose intolerant, and wears huge pants. I didn't exactly want to start dating him. But I didn't expect him to say those things. And it never feels good to have someone tell you that they're not interested. Even if you weren't in the first place. So even though I was horrified that he was going to ask me out, I almost cried like a fool when he told me the opposite...

It just sucks I feel like I shouldn't hang out with him anymore. Which depletes my friend resources greatly. And, being a girl with insecurities and all, I also immediately started feeling like because this one person that I got along with so well didn't want to date me, I am now doomed to be forever alone.
Which is irrational and obviously ridiculous. But still. The future freaks me out.

I'm pretty confidant that Bojangles will never come across this blog post. Actually I'm pretty confidant that very few people in general will see this...but if he does: Hey don't feel bad for setting things straight. And sorry I called you skinny. And you're awesome. Etc.

Anyway. Maybe I'm over-sharing here...but it's whatever.
The important thing is: life is not the worst right now. Compared to last spring semester, I'm living the high life! The life of a teenage robot. Except that I am not a teenager anymore.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Hot and Dangerous

I've decided to start doing weight watchers again. It's day one.
I'm realizing I need to go grocery shopping if this is going to work out...Currently I am in possession of nutty bars, coco puffs, frozen dinners, and spaghetti. Gotta fix that.
So for now I'm motivated and ready to lose some weight! Because...I found out yesterday that I weigh 15 lbs more than I thought I did. And at some point in the near future I will be wearing bathing suits.

But here's the thing.
I think I have a pretty good self-image. Every now and then I realize that I'm not a stick figure like all the actresses and VS models...but then I realize I'm okay with that. I have curves and maybe a little extra pudge but I'm still cute. And certainly not obese.

SOMETIMES however, I get this twisted thought in my head:
"If I lost 20 lbs and wore trendy clothes all the time I would have so many more friends and prospective lovers." For a while I let that thought stew and get all tangled into my brain, but then I realize it is FALSE. Because guess what? I once weighed 20 lbs less than I do now, and I was the SAME PERSON. I had the same personality, same amount of friends, and the same types of guys liking me or not liking me.

So. Instead of focusing on losing weight so that I will "be hotter" or more appealing or have more friends...I'm going to focus on being healthy, and feeling better about myself in general.
Because as Ke$ha would say "U R Who U R."

Friday, April 22, 2011

Suh no one told you life was gonna be this way?

Suh. So.
I moved into a new apartment today.
And it was really hard.
Somehow this move involved more stuff than I think I've ever had. How does that happen? How do we all have so much stuff????
Anyway, somehow I'm always one of the last persons to move from an apartment. So I end up finding people's skookie pans and crock pots and oven mits and St. Patrick's Day decorations and various foods and various crap and THROWING IT ALL AWAY. Because there is no time for rational decisions when your roommates have left cupboards full of things behind! Things you may never use. Things that don't have boxes or any sign of seeming significance. Sure, we could've donated their forgotten items to the poor, sent them off to the island of misfit appliances. Except that oh wait! oh yeah! we have to be moved out in fifteen minutes and you gave us no warning of your foolishness. Dummies.
(I have randomly been watching a whole lot of Friends on DVD lately...and I keep thinking in their voices. That last bit was all Phoebe. Oops.)
Seriously though. There was some mass carnage going on this morning. Garbage bags full of useful things just littered everywhere.

Between myself and my roommate Haley, we moved around 500 lbs of apartment crap today. Maybe even 900 lbs. Or 5,000 lbs. I'm not sure. It was A LOT OF STUFF. And we only had ONE able bodied male helping us for most of the time. (Although my Asian former home teacher DID show up for about 5 minutes. He was wearing a karate kid bandanna and carried about 5 of the lightest items and set them down NEXT TO our car, and then left.) Needless to say, the events that transpired today were difficult. But every time I almost collapsed to the ground and admitted defeat I would just think, "Hey. Duh. This isn't going to last FOREVER. Eventually, at some point today, all your shiz will be in your NEW apartment! Maybe even unpacked!" And then I would calm down a little.

After we got everything inside (including my Justin Bieber cutout) we organized a little bit, tried to take naps, got SENSUOUS SANDWICHES, and organized some more.

By now, 7:44PM, I am at work and I am exhausted. I just feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone and nothing is real.

My new apartment is THE LUXURIOUS. It is so so nice. (Minus the broken coffee table. That I broke. When I sat on it earlier today.......) The bedrooms are huge and private, the bathrooms are big and fancy, the front room has nice cushy couches, and we have a washer and dryer INSIDE. I am so excited for these next few months. PLUS, I'm about .53 seconds away from campus/my job. So great.

This summer I will:
Get "tan"
Go swimming
Meet "hot local singles"
Make friends
Go to Seattle
Work work work
Get paper
Waste time
Make music
Watch a lot of movies
Have so much fun

Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's gonna be alright.

I have a few papers to write, a few finals, and then school is overrrr!
And I'll be moving into my new apartment, and working 30ish hours a week.

I declared my major. Advertising. But guess what? I have to wait until next winter semester to find out if I can actually get into the program...
And I keep thinking about this rude girl in my ward that got into the advertising program and then I feel really weary of doing it...but we'll see.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be in school forever.
I still have no idea what I actually want to DO with my life. I just know that:
I hate--writing research papers, math, physical science and all that it entails, hiking, competitive sports, and being outdoorsy.
I love--singing, writing, making music, history, grammar, vocabulary, language in general, customer service, watching movies, being creative, being loud, dancing badly, envisioning myself as a rockstar, and dreaming big.

So...I just want to be able to do what I want and not worry about what classes to take, or what to major in...I just want everything to fall into place...ha. life is a mystery.

Maybe I'll end up in the creative branch of some advertising agency. Maybe I'll write and shoot for Time. Maybe I'll be a world-touring musician. Maybe I'll write songs for country stars or for the church. Maybe I'll teach English or creative writing to high school students. Maybe I'll be a stay-at-home mom that doesn't need to bring in a supplementary income and I'll have so much fun making my kids take dance classes and play piano.
Who knows.

(If you're wondering...this is what I looked like...six years ago? Life moves FAST.)

I have learned something about faith recently. Over General Conference weekend, something clicked in my brain. I was listening to the speakers saying that our prayers are so often answered by others. That maybe the words of a family member or boss or church leader could answer a question we've had. I began to understand that it doesn't really matter if, while we're on our knees praying, we don't hear some Val Kilmer God-like voice telling us explicit answers. It doesn't matter if we don't feel some overwhelming rush of clarity when we're praying about a confusing thing. Because if we pray WITH FAITH, God will hear it. He knows us! He loves us and knows us. Better than anyone can. And when we come to him asking for something, or with questions, he's not going to ignore us. He's going to put people or certain trials/experiences in our path that will give us understanding.
I used to get discouraged with prayer because I thought that if I didn't feel something right away, it meant that I was doing it wrong, or that God was withholding my answers until later. Until I was more spiritual and praying better or something. I used to feel like my prayers weren't good enough or that I had to be doing much more in order to be qualified for answers and feelings of peace. But I think I understand now.
Faith means believing that things will work out. It means asking for something, praying about something, and then hoping and believing that God will provide.
Now I feel like I don't have to worry so much.
And that's good.