Monday, April 27, 2009

Reading makes me feel introverted and weird...

30 school days left of being a child.
What do I want to do with my life?
I want music, writing, US history, photography...
I want to create.

I want control.
Closure.
I want CLOSURE.
I obsess and I replace and I hurt and I don't say anything.
And I REPLACE.
I am a parasite.
I am not yours, I am not my own...

I feel like Laura in the Glass Menagerie.
Crippled. Delusional. Handicapped.

Too dramatic. My life is fine. My life is good.
My mind is full. My soul is stretched...

What happens when college doesn't automatically solve all of my "problems" ? I'm not ready for that yet.

2 comments:

Natalie Jane said...

College won't solve anything. But you'll meet people who will force you to learn things. And you'll be surrounded by mountains. And you'll be in classes that will challenge you. And your brain will be flexing and bending and stretching so much that the rate at which you grow will be completely lost to you. Maybe you won't feel better but you'll feel different and it'll feel good.

Emily Rigby said...

It does seem like a lot of people that graduated last year have suddenly turned into intellectual grown ups...
i'm excited.