Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My hands are shakin'

Can someone teach me how to put a picture at the top of my blog? Maybe some decorations on the sides...?
Also, I'm really wishing that last post wasn't in capital letters. I always post late at night and often regret them. But if I deleted every post I didn't feel 100% confident in, this blog would cease to exist. Probably. Ehh.
Okay so...I'm back in Seattle right now! I've been home for about six days? It feels like a long time and it feels like I'll be here forever. But school starts next week. I'm not ready. Everyone else has been away since April...not I said the pig. Sigh...
I mean I'm excited I am. I'm excited and optimistic that this next year will be really great...but I wish I could just take some more time off. It's so nice to just be free of responsibilities for a while. Everyone knows the feeling. Hopefully by Saturday I'll be in the "I'm bored and anxious to start learning again!" mood. At least I'm only taking like. 4 classes. 4 days a week. No big deal. Maybe I'll have a major soon...

Major ideas: Journalism, Screenwriting, Music education, English teaching...

I don't know. They say you'll change it a few times after you pick one...but I can't even declare some of those without taking introductory courses first...I'll be in college forever.

Okay so here's a funny thing. Lately I've been treating someone not so good...but they don't realize it. So I feel bad...but at the same time...I know it's not making them unhappy. For example. I'll say things like "Don't touch me, gross nerd" or "I'm only gonna break your heart. I told you from the start" or "I don't want people seeing us together. I have a crush on the maintainance guy." ETC. But this person thinks I'm hilarious and takes everything I say as a joke if I don't preface it with "Hey we need to talk. Seriously. Put your Waynes World quotes away for a few minutes."
Anyway. Eventually I'm going to have to be honest with this person without relying on them taking it as a joke. I'm not looking forward to that day.
I never know how to break up with people. (Totally unrelated to the above comments..?)
Usually I tell them I just want a break. Then I spout off some reasons why I personally can't be involved. Then I involve outside sources like my job or my parents or school...etc. Then after a series of excuses later I end up telling them the truth.
It hurts. Do people realize that the breaker-upper feels like garbage too? I hate making people feel bad. I tend to avoid confrontation like the plague. It wastes time and energy. But sometimes things just take their natural course. In the words of Ash, "Sometimes it happens feelings die. Whole years are lost in the blink of an eye. We once had it all but events conspired. Oh sometimes..."

Man. After reading other people's blogs I feel like I totally do it wrong. Skilled blogging...takes...skill...Abby and Caitlin are good at it. And my sister. Whatever. It doesn't have to be my thing just because it's a lot of other people's. I do enjoy it from time to time though...

Last minute thoughts:
-I went whale watching and saw the backs of a few Minke.
-I got my hair cut.
-I watched Dances with Wolves for the first time yesterday. Nobody warned me that they don't speak english...
-I am now a BYU operator. If you didn't know. Call (801)422-INFO for all your BYU questions and concerns. I might answer. Who knows... :)

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

This is the greatest post I have ever read! I'm very excited to see you.

Hey. Next time I call BYU Info to ask if there's a fire in the library...I expect a direct answer.

Surfer Girl.

Love, Caitlin.