i am not depressed.

i'm not.
you have to...not be able to be happy to be considered depressed right?
i get happy.

singing helps me express myself the most. but writing does too. so by default i think that i should write songs. but. i'm not very good. and it's very annoying. all of my melodies are either extremely basic or the same as other ones or sound like a country song or sound like a cheesy cheese fest. listening to good music is so frustrating! because i want to make music as good as them. but. it doesn't happen....
i need a personal composer and musical accompaniment group....
then i could be famous. i'll write the lyrics, i'll sing, you just give me the tune and the sounds...
sigh.

too bad i don't have a personal recording studio like Mike...

AHHHHHHFDKSHFDJHKSKFKHSKFDJH
High school musical quote time...?
"i don't know where to go, what's the right team? i want my own thing. so bad i'm gonna scream. i can't choose, so confused, what's it all mean? i want my own dream. so bad i'm gonna scream..."

things that are bothering me:
lack of connection
confusing person
grad requirements
susan boyle
swine flu
sinus problems (i want surgery)
prom dress
lack of sleep (as i write this blog at 2am)
lack of 30 rock
lack of money/job
not being in shape
some girls at school
fiddler on the roof
seventeen magazine
people's lives looking perfect from facebook
lack of camera
choir stuff
....etc.

i'm asleep right now. help.