Farts...

When will this not bother me anymore? I was completely fine -i still am- but I happened upon a string of conversation with another girl...and a bunch of annoying little feelings crept back in. Then I think, what could he see that might make him feel the same way? And I realize I talk to no one and my pictures suggest nothing. And then I feel like I need to send subliminal messages that say "I am fine without you" or "Glad that's over!" via uploading songs or writing blogs like this or twittering....all things he'll probably never see. Because as a human race we are too cowardly to approach things like this head on. So then I feel like I'll feel better once I start dating again...but I just DON'T KNOW WHEN THAT WILL BE. I get so impatient and then I psyche myself out and think if I keep wondering and focusing on it it'll never happen...but I don't want to take any chances because that implies rejection and regret...it's a vicious cycle. It's what all the songs are about. I feel so pathetic thinking that something that good might not come around again. Looking back, was it even that good? I feel like my brain plays evil tricks on me. What can I do. Start going to bed earlier...? Homework...? Be as positive as possible... Stop thinking about wanting to be in a relationship. Stop thinking that you'll never be in one again and that all the guys here are either "too cool for you" or freakin weird. And above all... MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC. FIGHT WITH MUSIC. Okay. Rant over. I am hilarious. I feel fine.