Okay so I am not a dedicated blogger. You caught me. In fact, I mostly only blog on occasions such as this where I'm at work but have adamantly decided that I will not do any homework.
Yesterday I worked for 4 hours, then studied with a group for 3 hours, then took an oral exam, then ate Wendy's, then studied for a few more hours, and took an exam online. THEN WENT TO BED. It was ridiculous. So today when I saw that our teacher had readings due for class I took on the entitled-student-role and said to myself, "Yeah right. WE HAD TO TAKE A TEST YESTERDAY!" As if life in academics effectively can't go on after an exam. So anyway, I haven't done the readings and I probably won't. I get off in 45 minutes and I'm going to go to the temple and eat lunch with my long lost friend Emily (McDonald. I'm not talking about myself in 3rd person).
OH. Can I also say, that yesterday when I was getting ready for exam #2 I was with a group of people and they wanted to make sure the test closed at 11:55 and not 11:00. So I volunteered to call my professor who is probably old enough to be my dad? and I left a really embarrassing message "Hi....professor....We're just wondering...about the test....Yeah so...call me back!" and hung up and instantly said "I...don't know how to talk to adults." He called me back a couple hours later after everyone had left and I still didn't know how to talk to him like a grown up. Fun times.
Back to today. Today famous Mormon blogger C. Jane Kendrick tweeted about blogging and I decided to actually read the post. I don't know why, but in the past I avoided her blog. Actually I think it's because I was overwhelmed. I discovered it and felt like I would have to go back super far to catch up on everything and I didn't want to half-ass it. So anyway, I read this post about her son's birth story and just started to cry. All of the faith and the strength amazed me. Then I read about her divorce and cried some more. Then I read a few more posts and put a few pieces of this woman's life together and figured out that she's pretty amazing. I found myself saying in my head "I'm grateful for the internet because of Mormon bloggers." Which is a hilarious thought. But it's true. So much of the gospel can be shared now with all the technology we possess. It's like when I watch those "I'm a Mormon" videos and sob alone in my room on Sunday afternoons.
I feel really peaceful and grateful right now. Last night I was praying and I felt really hopeless. I said that I knew things were going to work out, but I was feeling unsure lately as to how or when and I needed some hope. I needed strength and to be humbled.
After reading some of those posts I started to feel some hope. Like that was exactly what I needed to hear.
As of right now I feel:
That I'm 21 years old.
I'm going to get married. And when I meet that person I will appreciate him SO much.
But for now I don't need a future husband within my grasp to be happy. I mean, yes, it kind of sucks that most of the guys I "like" seem to run far away from me, but what do I know? It's clearly not meant to be. So I should just trust that good things will happen when they are meant to. There will be someone out there who doesn't mind my off-color humor, who thinks my intelligence and aptitude for music are admirable, and who will balance out my awkwardness with their own.
Until then, here's a picture of me a little disheveled after a 15 minute long musical number in my Sunday best. Send out to any/all available bachelors! JUST KIDDING! (not kidding) Hah ha. ha.