I ate a whole lot today...

Hearing about my parents' lives...
really makes me grateful for the home I've grown up in.
I can't believe how lucky I am sometimes really.

A lot of the time, I'll try to find problems with my life, so that I can fit in more...
But everyone does that right? To some extent?

(Generic example)
Friend A: Dude my parents got divorced three years ago and my real dad doesn't even know how old I am because he's a big druggie
Me: Well...my dad...his mom ran away when he was little...and my uh...mom...is a nurse...sometimes...i get heartburn...(ETC)

That's dumb. Why do I do that? Why do people do that? I think we look for things to blame. We don't want to be the person in the group of friends with a small amount of problems. "i feel sorry for you for having a rough past. let's see...my life has to have things wrong with it...well there was that one time...let me just make it seem very bothersome even though it's not a huge deal..."
I dunno.

My sister said one time that everyone should get a little therapy.
So I think about that a lot. And I feel like I should get some. But is that me really wanting someone to listen and help me sort out my brain? Or am I just trying to fit in with the crowd?
Probably both.
Probably because I confide in the internet and friends instead of parents or other family members...
shrug.

Comments

Natalie Jane said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
April 13, 2009 at 8:19 AM
Natalie Jane said…
Therapy is the best. Even if nothing is wrong. Talking to someone outside of your life helps. I think I actually wrote an IDENTICAL "livejouranl" or "xanga" to this one when I was a senior in high school. So, it's normal thinking. You know...back in the oh...let's say fourteenth century, there was a thing called sprezzatura. It was the ability to do something great and difficult with ease. Make it look off the cuff. People would practice long long hours to be able to do something and make it look easy. it was a big deal...like grace or something. But, unfortunately this is lost completely in our culture now and when we write a 2 page paper on human interactions we make it out to be a major feat. Our culture loves to make things look harder than they are and suffering through things... make a wish foundation, feel sorry for me!!!...It is what makes us human. So...it's natural to look around and see all this suffering and wonder...well where is my suffering? I WANT TO BE HUMAN!
April 13, 2009 at 8:21 AM
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